being real

After spending the day driving and thinking about how reality sometimes comes through in comparison to expectations, I just have to think a bit more about it to have a correct picture. I sometimes feel so ‘in’ with my fantasy stories and images and caracters all built up in my dreams and mind and sometimes reality is just something else. And then sometimes reality comes through as expected, but in a different way to what needed or wanted.

So I spent the day kind of longing to get home to concentrate and continue my dream world all built up in my stories and sit down to write and let it come to me, that’s just what I want to do. To create the background, the build up, the storyline, the reasons, and the solutions, I guess the world in where the story is happening. And sometimes it’s so much easier to be in that ‘reality’ since it all make sense and is more direct preferably than in my way. If that make sense?

So having a clear road to what I need to happen, might be to work for, synchronize the programmings around me to fit with each other, the stories and reality, rather than focusing on just what I want?

For now I am just happy to be the kind of person that I am, a bit stuck with my goals, very stubborn I guess, very loyal to my commitments and I wanting to keep promises that lasts forever. And this dream is continuing towards reality because of love and honest passion to a story that needs to be told. Is that maybe more of the drive of writing this story sometimes rather than actually telling the story? Does that if so make it more real?

I have to say though, reality is very far from the story itself…. it’s total science fiction. hahahahaha. I was just avoiding to be feeling fake….

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